When I grew up in foster care I had 11 foster homes. That’s quite a transition to leave a set of parents that were known as mom and dad and have to re-home with new foster parents that are hoping to be called mom and dad.
Sometimes I was introduced to parents on a first name basis which is awkward when there are children in the home who refer to their parents as mommy and daddy. I believe out of love, compassion and trying to connect, the parents wanted me to feel I belonged but there is no permanency to the foster parents unless there is an adoption. That uncertainty of foster movement can leave a kid’s life in limbo.
When foster children begin to ask questions about the biological parents its vital to be sensitive. I had a foster mom who often said stupid remarks like, “Your mother gave you up, she never wanted you.”
Little do they know but I’m secretly rooting for my own mom to get it together and prove them wrong. Many foster kids are failing thru life when they are impaired by damaging comments about their biological families. If I could share any advice to a foster parent or care giver, I’d say, “Please don’t destroy what little they have left to cherish of their biological family. It may be all they have.”