The Girl That I Used to Be

From my heart to yours!

As a young teen in the foster care program, I received a scroll tied in ribbon. It was kind of like getting a message in a bottle. When I unrolled it, there was a beautiful message printed on rice paper and it would change my life forever. It came at a time when I had gone through many foster homes and was confused by the unstable life. I’d had too many moms and I was terrified to become a mother because of past experiences with their abuse toward me. Then I received this poem by an unknown author and title. To this day I thank this unknown woman for guiding and mentoring me with her genuine words of love.

She came tonight as I sat alone
The girl that I used to be…
And she gazed at me with her earnest eye
And questioned reproachfully:

Have you forgotten the many plans
And hopes that I had for you?
The great career, the splendid fame
All wonderful things to do?

Where is the mansion of stately height
With all of its gardens rare?
The silken robe that I dreamed for you
And the jewels for your hair?

And as she spoke, I was very sad
For I wanted her pleased with me…
This slender girl from the shadowy past
The girl that I used to be.

So gently rising, I took her hand,
And guided her up the stair
Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay
Innocent, sweet and fair.

And I told her that these are my only gems
And precious they are to me;
That silken robe is my motherhood
Of costly simplicity.

And my mansion of stately height is love,
And the only career I know;
Is serving each day in these sheltering walls
For the dear ones who come and go.

And as I spoke to my shadowy quest,
She smiled through her tears at me;
And I saw that the woman that I am now
Pleased the girl that I used to be….